Everyone poops!

We have all heard of the children’s book “Everyone Poops,” where we learn that ‘an elephant makes a big poop’ and ‘a mouse makes a tiny poop.’   How can you not love this book!  Below is a “trailer” to the book if made into a movie – like “Where the Wild Things Are”. 

While the book teaches kids about pooping, it’s a reminder to us adults and somewhat adults that we all poop.  Even the women of the world.  I know, it’s shocking.  Slim, dainty, sophisticated women are taking big dumps all over the world.  It’s true.  The book says! 

The actor or actress you lust over – s/he poops.  I bet they have had explosive diarrhea at least once in their life.  Can you imagine Angelina Jolie, Madonna, Brad Pitt, and all Presidents of the United States of America having explosive diarrhea?  It’s happened.  Fo realz.  But we don’t talk about it.  We learn at a young age that we don’t talk about the things that come out of our body – especially poop (and variations of it).  There are some people who are more open about it, like myself.  Others don’t even want to acknowledge that their significant other is capable of taking a crap.     

We ALL have poop stories.  As a baby, my youngest brother decided to take a dump mid-diaper change.  His nickname was Pootsie for the longest time… my sister and I will occasionally call him that just for the sake of embarrassing him.  Myself – I usually can’t poop when I travel.  It’s not that I can’t, but my body can’t.  I am fine taking dumps in public bathrooms as long as no one is in there or it’s not completely silent (courtesy flush anyone?), but I just don’t have any urges to poop.  I once went 5 – yes FIVE – days without a bowel movement.  As I was about to board my plane back home, my intestines started to get the point as I rushed to the bathroom.  Some friends in college once had a roommate that didn’t flush everything once – apparently her poop was shaped like a ball and had a chewed up gum in it.  Gross, even for me. 

So people, don’t be afraid of poop because we all do it.  Be proud of your poop!  Be sure to smile after one of those euphoric poops – you know what I mean, the ones that give you a slight tingly sensation throughout your body once you are done.  If you manage to keep your entire poop in one piece, feel accomplished – it’s rare for that to happen!  Little pebble poops are okay too!  No matter the kind of poop, be happy that you can poop!  Somewhere in the world, there is probably a person that is really constipated and wishing that s/he could just poop it all out.

I could probably write an entire book on poop, and will probably have a few other posts in the future about pooping (e.g. length of time on toilet, wipe back to front or front to back, pooping in public bathrooms, poop streaks in the toilet, pooping your pants or in other odd places, etc – so much to talk about!). 

Just remember these two things:

1. Everyone poops
2. Wash your hands thoroughly afterwards