Everyone poops!

We have all heard of the children’s book “Everyone Poops,” where we learn that ‘an elephant makes a big poop’ and ‘a mouse makes a tiny poop.’   How can you not love this book!  Below is a “trailer” to the book if made into a movie – like “Where the Wild Things Are”. 

While the book teaches kids about pooping, it’s a reminder to us adults and somewhat adults that we all poop.  Even the women of the world.  I know, it’s shocking.  Slim, dainty, sophisticated women are taking big dumps all over the world.  It’s true.  The book says! 

The actor or actress you lust over – s/he poops.  I bet they have had explosive diarrhea at least once in their life.  Can you imagine Angelina Jolie, Madonna, Brad Pitt, and all Presidents of the United States of America having explosive diarrhea?  It’s happened.  Fo realz.  But we don’t talk about it.  We learn at a young age that we don’t talk about the things that come out of our body – especially poop (and variations of it).  There are some people who are more open about it, like myself.  Others don’t even want to acknowledge that their significant other is capable of taking a crap.     

We ALL have poop stories.  As a baby, my youngest brother decided to take a dump mid-diaper change.  His nickname was Pootsie for the longest time… my sister and I will occasionally call him that just for the sake of embarrassing him.  Myself – I usually can’t poop when I travel.  It’s not that I can’t, but my body can’t.  I am fine taking dumps in public bathrooms as long as no one is in there or it’s not completely silent (courtesy flush anyone?), but I just don’t have any urges to poop.  I once went 5 – yes FIVE – days without a bowel movement.  As I was about to board my plane back home, my intestines started to get the point as I rushed to the bathroom.  Some friends in college once had a roommate that didn’t flush everything once – apparently her poop was shaped like a ball and had a chewed up gum in it.  Gross, even for me. 

So people, don’t be afraid of poop because we all do it.  Be proud of your poop!  Be sure to smile after one of those euphoric poops – you know what I mean, the ones that give you a slight tingly sensation throughout your body once you are done.  If you manage to keep your entire poop in one piece, feel accomplished – it’s rare for that to happen!  Little pebble poops are okay too!  No matter the kind of poop, be happy that you can poop!  Somewhere in the world, there is probably a person that is really constipated and wishing that s/he could just poop it all out.

I could probably write an entire book on poop, and will probably have a few other posts in the future about pooping (e.g. length of time on toilet, wipe back to front or front to back, pooping in public bathrooms, poop streaks in the toilet, pooping your pants or in other odd places, etc – so much to talk about!). 

Just remember these two things:

1. Everyone poops
2. Wash your hands thoroughly afterwards

Like Whoa!!

Life has been pretty busy this past week… and there will be no signs of slowing down in the next week or so.  On Saturday, my little sissy Cooter Girl came down to visit.  I showed her my small Southern town in all its three bar glory!  The evening ended up with me, CG, PD, and Timo hanging out and cracking a bull whip.  Fo’ realz.  A bull whip!  Typically, I would say a bull whip is an adult non-sexual toy… but us somewhat adults always find a way of making any whip a sexual whip.  No one was harmed during out antics.  haha!

Sunday we played adult – at a polo game!  I have never been to a polo game before, but essentially you park in a field with drinks and food and watching guys on horses knock balls across the field.  very interesting and would totally go see another game.

I am currently in Atlanta for a conference (so exciting and so adult, wouldn’t you think?).  While this is a very adult thing to do, I spend the entire day thinking “Welcome to Atlanta where the playas play” and “I’m a hustla… I’m a I’m a hustla!”  See videos below for the entire song:

Not the most adult song to have in my head while listening to fellow sociologists talking about their research:

Speaker on research – Therefore, it is important that we considered hegemonic masculinity when constructing a new paradigm of…

I think to myself – I agree because I’m a hustla, I’m a I’m a hustla!

That was seriously going through my head. ALL. DAY.  LONG.  Luckily, I have perfectly the smile and nod technique.  While others were thinking “Look at her, paying attention to this boring presentation! How adult of her!”, I had gangsta songs on repeat in my head.  So somewhat adult! 

Oh and in other news, you know how I was blogging about winning shiznit from other blogs… well I found out today that I won 100 custom postcards from Uprinting thanks to Broken Teepee and a $25 giftcard from Creative Custom Card Boxes.  Yo!!!  Not only am I a HUSTLA, but I’m also a WINNA!!! 

WELCOME TO ATLANTA WHERE THE PLAYAZ PLAY!!! 

Giveaway Galore!

So I will let you in on a dirty, little secret.  Really dirty.  You may need to bathe afterwards.  Most of my adult life, I never thought about my future wedding.  I just wasn’t one of those girls.  However, now that I have found a guy that I am willing to settle for (Joking!  No settling here… If my mom says I can’t do better, then I probably can’t), and we have been dating for over two years now, weddings are all I can think about. 

We aren’t officially engaged yet, but this past fall I have been thinking about the who, what, where, when, why and how of this wedding-to-be.  We both don’t want to spend a butt load of money on it.  We are just about to finish the whole process of buying a house, so the last thing either of us wants is to spend $25,000+ on a wedding.  A wedding is only a day.  A marriage is a lifetime.  Duh!  I am 98% positive that I can put together a nice wedding for no more than $7,000.  Say what??  A WEDDING for only $7k??  Impossible!!!  This mission is possible!  Once the mister officially proposes, I will be setting up an entire blog on the wedding planning business. 

I don’t want to give out all my secrets as to how I will be able to have this dream wedding on the cheap, but I will tell you this much.

BLOG GIVEAWAYS!

I have been scouring wedding blogs for the past 5 months now.  However, only in the past 2 weeks have I realized the number of giveaways that are out there.  There are seriously a ton of them out there.  I know I won’t win everything, but I might as well try!  Think about it, if I were to win this one from the very awesome Broke-Ass Bride, then I wouldn’t have to worry about finding a cheap photographer or having a family or friend do it for me.  Kick ass!!  This weekend, P.Diddy and I will be working on our hopefully-winning entry.  (Even the Diddy is up for wedding talk if the word FREE is involved!  haha)

Other current giveaways:

1) 100 4x6 postcards from Girl with a Ring

2) 100 4x6 postcards from Tigerlily’s Book

3) 250 custom stickers by Digital Room from Mrs. Cox’s Slice O’Heaven

4) 100 custom postcards by UPrinting from Broken Teepee

 

While putting together a wedding can be VERY adult (instead of saying “This is my boyfriend, P. Diddy”, I would have to say “This is my hubby, P. Diddy”… so adult!), I think these contests and giveaways makes is more somewhat adult and more fun! 

Home Depot and Bed, Bath and Beyond

We close on our house in 45 days!  Can’t wait!  (note: I will write about the house and the home searching process later)  I really wish we were able to close a little sooner than that, but that’s house buying for ya.  I guess the seller of our soon-to-be house is waiting for the seller of their soon-to-be-house to find a soon-to-be-house of their own.  Catch that?  Essentially it’s a big domino effect and we are waiting for the big push. 

Anyway, we are excited to be moving into a house of our own.  No more landlords.  No more fees for having pets.  No more having to hear your upstairs neighbors walking around.  No more lots of stuff associated with renting a place!  Feeling very adult!  However, as most homeowners know, there is a lot more that goes into being an adult owning a home.  Mortgage insurance.  If something breaks, you have to pay to have it fixed.  Property tax.  Maintenance and upkeep of house and yard. So a lot of adult things. 

We had a pretty nice weekend.  We ventured to Home Depot, Lowes, and Bed, Bath and Beyond.  The Diddy (aka Boyfriend; Stinky fart boy) and I wanted to look at paint colors, things we could do with the house, price a few items out.  Every time I think of these stores, the movie Old School always pops in my head.  See clip below.

Funny, right!?! So whenever either the Diddy or I mention these aforementioned businesses, the other always responds with, “I don’t know if I’ll have enough time.”  Cracks us up every time!  Not funny?  Well screw you. 

So here we are, being trying to be all adult with buying a home, and we have to quote Old School.  So classy.  But I love it!

Oh, and if you have never seen the movie, I highly suggest watching it.  This is being Somewhat Adult at its finest! 

Defining ADULT

Being a sociologist, I have to question what being an adult it.  Race is a social construct.  Age is a social construct.  Religion is a social construct.  (yes, I said it) 

Social construct what?  Well, my friends – a social construct is the development of phenomena relative to social contexts.  Again, what?  Basically, it is the concept that everybody in society agrees to treat a certain aspect a certain way.  If we all think of it to be true, then it becomes our reality.  Below is a video that illustrates social constructionism. 

Anyway, getting back on the topic of being adult, we have to ask What does it mean to be an adult?  How do you define ‘adult’?  Yes, this answer can vary over time and by culture.  But really, WHAT IS AN ADULT!?!?  Why are we told to act like an adult when we don’t even know what that means?? 

Is being adult a biological concept?  One dictionary defines adult as “having attained full size and strength; grown up; mature.”  This makes sense from what many of us consider to be adult.  I still have issues with this though…

Or is being adult a social concept?  In the US, you are an adult at the age of 18.  So when you are 17 years and 363 days old, you aren’t an adult?  Does one day really make that big a difference?  And even when one is 28 years old (such as myself), who says I have to be an adult?  Does being an adult mean living on your own or can you still live with your parents and be an adult? 

This whole concept of adulthood stupifies me.  (Stupifies?  Not really sure if this is a word.)  I don’t know… maybe one day I will understand it more.  In all honesty, I hope I can be 70 years old and still only feel somewhat adult – because not being completely an adult is still pretty cool.  Think cartoons, ice cream trucks, and cooties.  Okay, maybe not the cooties.  In adult world, that can mean something really gross that lives on your no-no parts. 

Until another somewhat adult moment…   

Somewhat of an adult

I started this blog for several reasons. 

1. I have always wanted to write a blog, but never really knew what to blog about. 
2. Just started a real adult job August 2009.  Yes, I have had plenty of jobs before (e.g. Dairy Queen slave, nanny, office slave, data analyst, operations analyst), but this is my first job in starting my career.  Very adult if you ask me!
3. My boyfriend and I are in the process of closing on our first house… exciting! 
4. After realizing all the things that are going on in my life, I finally figured out what to blog about.  BEING AN ADULT!!

However, there is one glitch in my new blog idea.  I don’t think of myself as an adult.  I don’t feel like an adult.  I certainly don’t act like an adult (all the time).  Case in point, whenever I see the number 69, I have to giggle.  How immature and non-adult is that!!  Seriously! 

So rather than writing about being an adult, I will write about being somewhat of an adult.  Things I do to be more of an adult.  Things I do to be less of an adult.  Who knows where this will go.  Maybe I will realize that I am more adult than I thought. Maybe others will realize than I am less adult than they thought.