To Donate or Not to Donate – That is the question

Egg donation is a hot topic these days – and no, I do not mean donating a dozen chicken eggs to a food bank.  I am talking the eggs out of a woman’s womb. 

Nowadays, more and more women are spending more time becoming educated and focusing on their career rather than getting married and having a family right out of high school and/or college.  However, once some of these women decide that they are finally at a point in their life to get married and have children, their biological clock has already slowed the ticking.  For these women and others who have infertility issues, not being able to conceive a child can be disheartening and she may feel like a failure.  Especially as our society dictates that having children is still the norm (although now it’s fewer is better).  Luckily, great advancement in reproductive technology and infertility treatments provide many of these women the opportunity to have a family of their own, albeit in the non-traditional form.  Adoption, IVF, and surrogates have become the rage these days in the reproductive world! 

One other route that some women who can’t produce their own eggs are taking is through egg donations.  Now, I use the term donation here very loosely because the egg donors are compensated for their “dedication, time, effort, and discomfort,” as one agency puts it.  What is the price that one pays for someone’s eggs?  For some places and people, the price increases with education, intelligence and good looks.  Diane Sawyer did a piece on egg donors, citing that some parents were willing to pay upwards of $25,000+ for eggs that meet a certain criteria.  $25k???  Seriously, whoa!!  That’s like, a looooot of money.  One chick who donated six cycles said she was “compensated” almost $100k for everything. OMG! 

I bet some women out there are thinking, “Where do I sign up??”  It sounds so easy peasy.  But getting that much money is very rarely.  I guess the average is around $5,000 a cycle and anymore than $10k is considered inappropriate.

Now, I saw the clip above and any real data on compensation AFTER I considered donating my eggs.  Yes, if you didn’t get from the title of this blog post, I am considering donating my eggs.  WHY?  Well, the money would help of course, but the main reason is being able to help another couple live their dream of having a family.  Being able to put a smile on some woman’s face because I had some part in her having a daughter or son puts a smile on my face.  And I am not sure if it is possibly, but my womb is smiling and the mere thought of it as well.  Seriously, if a womb could smile, it would be doing that. 

Since I live in a small area outside of a big city, the compensation really isn’t that much.  Only about $3,5000.  And that is before taxes mind you.  So if I go through with this, it really isn’t about the money.  And I am perfectly fine with that.  Because I don’t want it to be about the money.  Yes, it would be nice to pay off that credit card a bit sooner, but that is going to happen regardless.  So my reasons for this is mostly for selfless reasons. 

Right now, I am in the process of completing three very long-ass applications.  I will go into more detail on everything in another post, but I am still a bit wishy washy on whether I really am going to go through with it or not.  Since egg donation is relatively new, there has not been a lot of research on the long-term effects.  And I would like to have children of my own someday.  Of the research that does exist, it shows that only a very small percentage of women were not able to have children of their own or had some other negative effects.

Hmmm… so much to think about.   

So what are you up to now?

Went to the 10-year reunion.  It was more eventful than I was honestly expecting.  I went with three of my friends, so I never have to do the awkward standing around figuring out what to do shuffle.  But still, what is the etiquette for reunions?  As I mentioned in my last post, do you hang out with and talk to only the same people from high school??  Answer – Yes. 

In high school, I knew of a lot of people (i.e. I knew their names, who their associates were, what they were known for) but a lot of people didn’t know me (at least I think they didn’t).  I never went to the big high school parties.  Never hung out with the popular kids.  I never got into trouble.  I had my core group of friends and that was fine with me. 

So at the reunion, at first I wasn’t sure if it was the norm to go up to people that you didn’t talk to and catch up with them.  I really don’t know how this thing works!  Do you go up to Popular Girl X and say, “hey Popular Girl X!  Remember me??  How have you been??”  Then in my head, Popular Girl X responds with a look that says “I don’t fucking know and I don’t fucking care” but says “No, remind me again?”  And after you tell her your name, Dorky Girl Pi-squared, she gasps and says “Oh my god!  You look so different! It’s so great to see you!” when in all honesty she has no clue who you are and really doesn’t care too much. 

Do I really want to go through the same humiliation that I went through in high school?  Nope.  (Okay, maybe I am exaggerating a little bit… high school wasn’t THAT bad.)  So I stayed with my little group of friends.  We caught up on relationships, commented on how we are happy we don’t have kids right now, talked about mortgage payments and student loans.  You know, adult stuff.  (The somewhat adult talking about adult things?  CA-RA-ZY!!)  And I was perfectly satisfied with that.  Now, we did catch up with a handful of other people that maintained a similar high school “status” to what we did.  But did I venture out of my safety circle much – nope. 

There were a couple of people that I randomly talked to, but nothing out of the ordinary.  I saw a lot of people that I knew, but was never really friends with.  Should I have said ‘Hi’ to more?  Yeah, probably.  But honestly, who went home thinking “Oh, I wish I would have been able to talk to DeAnna”?  Probably no one.  I figure, I didn’t talk to you in high school, I haven’t talked to you in the past 10 years, and chances are, I probably won’t talk to you after this. So why bother? 

Maybe I should change my attitude on this, but the people who are important to me, I know how to get a hold of and talk to/see them a couple times a year anyway. 

Plus, there is always Facebook. 

Facebook = Instant Reunion

So, my 10-year high school reunion is tomorrow.  10 years.  10 effing years since I finished high school.  10 years and I still don’t feel like an adult!  haha!  I still have winter, spring and summer breaks.  I don’t go into work until 10am-ish.  I get to joke around with college kids.  Is this what an adult is supposed do??  

Normally, the high school reunion is a time to catch up with old high school friends, see how fat the big bitch became and how many children the class slut ended up with.  You find out who ended up as the plastic surgeon and who is still working his/her high school job.  (Don’t say you don’t judge, when we all judge other people in some way!  And you KNOW that is the real purpose of high school reunions.) 

However, in the past 7 years or so, this handy dandy little social networking site has become pretty popular.  It goes by the name of Facebook.  Have you heard of it??  Anyway, with Facebook you can now find all the people you went to high school with (as long as they are cool and on FB too… yes, I am so cool, I call it FB rather than Faccebook) and become “friends” with them.  And I use the term “friends” very loosely.  Majority of the people I am “friends” with I never talk to.  After you become friends, the next step is to FB stalk them.  That means going through all 14 photo albums of their parties, trips to Europe, dogs, Christmas 2008, wedding, babies, etc.  You figure out what they have accomplished or not accomplished since high school.  There is a lot of information that you can get on one’s FB profile.  Seriously.  Sometimes more information than I really need, but I’ll still read it.  While looking at the pictures and all this information, you would do the same thing as you would at a physical reunion – judge! 

• Oooh he’s gained some weight
• The ugly ducking cleans up pretty well
• Still an asshole
• Wow, I can’t believe she became a teacher
• They still look the same. 
• Wow – talk about plastic surgery!  Almost looks as bad as Heidi Montag-Pratt!!
• Six kids??  Seriously???  Ever heard of birth control??
• How did he end up with a girl like her??

You get the point. (although this makes me wonder what people say about me!! haha!)

So if you already know what these people that you haven’t talked to in 10 years have done/are doing, then what’s the purpose of a reunion these days?  There really isn’t any curiosity anymore.  Will the reunion regress back to the high school days where everyone stays with their old cliques and only talks to the same people from way back in the day?  With the nerds and the jocks take shots together?  Will there be the “Hey, I’m really sorry about throwing you in your locker during high school.  I was an asshole back then but I have changed” conversation? 

I guess I will find out tomorrow… although Facebook has kinda taken some of the fun out of reunions. 

Like WHOA!!

So my last blog post was almost two months ago.  That means, for the past two months, I HAVE BEEN AN ADULT!!!  Not somewhat of an adult or impersonating an adult, but an actual living, breathing adult.  Foz rizzle!  (ahhhh soo good to be back as somewhat of an adult!) 

“Now De, what adult things have you been doing?” you ask?  Let me make you a list:

• officially closed and moved into a house the end of May
• adopted a new puppy, Deuce
• wrote and successfully defended my dissertation
• BECAME DR. DE!!!

Um, talk about life changing.  All of it.  Every single damn day for the past two months.  If it wasn’t the house, then it was the dissertation.  If it wasn’t either of those two, then it has been something to do with the puppy.  For instance, 30 seconds ago, I hear a loud “BLEGH!!” coming from the mud room to find that Deuce just puked up water on the floor.  Don’t ask me why he puked water, but I am sure he is fine.

So, over the next few weeks or so, I will chronicle some of the happenings from the past two months and what is in store for me in the next few.  Let’s just say, big things are occurring.  I’m talking 10 year high school reunion.  Starting up teaching again.  And to really get the pot going, I am really considering becoming an egg donor. (WHAT?!?!) 

Despite all the adult things that have been going on, I continue to assert that I am not an adult but only somewhat of an adult.